In life, we often find ourselves in situations where love is supposed to conquer all. But sometimes, even love isn’t enough. This is the story of my eleven-year journey with a man I thought was my everything. A journey filled with hope, dreams, and, ultimately, heartbreak.

I’ve been living with the father of my children for 11 years. For most people, that would mean we are married. After all, we have three children together, including a set of twins. But the truth is, he’s never paid my bride price.

I didn’t chase him down or rush into anything. We were dating, and I got pregnant. It felt like a natural next step to move in together. Then came our second pregnancy, which he asked me to keep on the chance that it would be a girl. But it turned out to be another boy. Still, we kept on. I thought things would eventually fall into place.

For years, I begged him to visit my family and pay the bride price, like any respectful man would. He always promised he would, but it never happened. After a while, he sent his uncle to ask for directions to my family’s house, that was the closest we got.

On the outside, we looked like a couple, and to everyone else, we were probably seen as a married one. But in reality, I had no security, no real commitment. Despite my pleas, nothing changed.

At the start of this year, after feeling like nothing was ever going to change, I left him with our kids. I hoped that by walking away, it would force him to see how much he was losing. It didn’t.

When we returned, things seemed the same. But then, something changed. One day, I went into our master bathroom and found pieces of hair extensions and makeup, things that weren’t mine. I confronted him, and he ignored me completely. That was the moment I realized how deep the hurt really went.

The turning point came when my younger sister got married. I went alone to the wedding. He never came, and he never does. My late mother’s sisters were furious with me for staying in a relationship with someone who hadn’t even visited them or acknowledged them in any way. They called me a fool, a disgrace to my late mother. They reminded me that I’d been living with him since my youth service days, and they couldn’t understand why I was still waiting for a commitment that seemed so out of reach.

Angry and hurt, I came home and confronted him. I told him if he didn’t step up and do the right thing, I’d leave with the children and never return.

That’s when he dropped the bombshell. He said he had never loved me. That he only felt pity for me. He told me if I ever tried to leave again, he’d throw me out himself.

It was then that I realized I had been living in a dream for far too long. He was not the person I thought he was.

Later that week, he left and didn’t come back for nearly a week. His phones were switched off, and I couldn’t reach him. When he returned, he told me the truth I had been avoiding for years: He was getting married in December to another woman who had two kids for him. He said this woman was the one he truly loved. He had changed his Facebook and phone profile pictures to her.

Now, here I am. Crying every night, wondering where God is in all of this. I gave him everything: my youth, my love, my body, and three beautiful children. And yet, it wasn’t enough. He’s moving on, leaving me behind.

I feel like I wasted so many years hoping that he would change, that things would get better. But sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, it’s just not enough for them to appreciate what they have. And that’s the hardest pill to swallow.

The Takeaway

This story is not just a story; it’s a reality for many people who find themselves in relationships where love feels one-sided. You can’t force someone to love you the way you deserve. You can’t change someone’s feelings, no matter how hard you try. The best thing you can do is to recognize your worth, take back your power, and move forward.

Life may not always turn out how we expect it, but remember, you are deserving of the love and respect you give. Don’t settle for less than you deserve, no matter how much time has passed.

Your Turn

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you gave everything but received nothing in return? How did you deal with it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

This post might help others going through similar situations to find clarity and courage. If it resonated with you, don’t forget to share it with someone who might need it.

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