Buscar

4 months after I was born, my mom went back to University to get her degree. I'm her third child. She left me and my siblings with our Dad and paternal grandma and came home only weekends for three years until she finished her degree. She left 3 under-5 and went to pursue her career. At 28, she was doing her NYSC and pregnant with her 4th child. At 40, she already had her master's degree. She has been a civil servant since 1993. Now, at 61, she is at the peak of her career. A level 17 officer, Permanent Secretary grade. (Edit - Note: in 2023, Delta State increased retirement age from 60 to 65.) My aunty who was my mother's secondary mate and got married same year my mother got married, didn't continue with her education like my mom did. She had three children and tried to go back in her 40s when her last child was in secondary school, but she was only able to acquire tc2 (or whatever they call it). At the long run. My mom raised four successful biological children. My aunty raised three successful biological children. No, my aunty's children did NOT turn out better just because she gave up career and dreams to raise them. If you are measuring success based on wealth and quality and level of education, we are far ahead. There are no studies, research or statistics that indicate that children of stay-at-home mothers do better. If I could be asked to choose between an illiterate mother who stayed at home throughout my childhood and gave up career just to watch me VERSUS my mother who is a top/senior civil servant at the peak of her career, a boss in the office and boss at home, I would DEFINITELY choose the latter, and I'm glad that the latter is my reality. My father told me that he had opportunity to travel to the US or UK when I was just four. He was to travel there for research and enroute into becoming a university lecturer/professor. But he turned down the opportunity because he wanted to be there to watch his children grow every minute. Do you know what I told him? I told him that he should have gone. Some of my siblings also told him he should have gone. Imagine the children he stayed for telling him that he should have gone. My father's colleague who also got same offer went and came back for his family one year later. So, I told my father that leaving his family for a year or two would have been a worthwhile sacrifice to pay for a better future. He should have gone and come back for us a year or two later. My father was a very successful man, more educated than my mother and also got to the peak of his career, but not half as successful as he would have been if he had taken some risks, including leaving his children for a year or two. Why am I writing all these? For those women who abandon their dreams, careers and aspirations because of their children. Someday, your children who you abandoned your career for will ask you WHY? They will tell you that you should have pursued your career. Like I said, my father sacrificed career progression for us his children. My mother did NOT sacrifice career pursuit for anybody. While I understand the sacrifice my father made, as a grown adult, I still think my mother made the better choice. So, my dear women/mothers, I can tell you that at the long run, your children would be most proud of you if you pursue your career and achieve great career heights. I went back to full-time studies January to December 2024. I had my daughter in-between in April 2024. I got an extra degree and with that, I'm applying for jobs and negotiating salaries more than twice my salary in my last job. It wasn't easy doing that while nursing a baby, but I did it. My children would grow up seeing a strong mommy who didn't abandon her dreams. I want my daughter to know that she should never abandon her dream or chosen career for any reason or anyone. I don't want my children to ask me WHY? It's not easy combining academic/career and family. But nothing good comes too easily. Just do your best within your power and the opportunity and resources available to you. Copied ✍️

From the parable of the 10 virgins, I’ve learned two important lessons: 1. To Always Be Prepared: The wise virgins came with extra oil because they didn’t want to be caught off guard. In real life, this means we should always plan ahead, whether it’s for opportunities, emergencies, or important moments. Being prepared saves us from regret. 2. To Take Responsibility for Your Own Life: The foolish virgins wanted to borrow oil, but some things in life just can’t be borrowed. This reminds us that certain efforts, like personal growth, discipline, and planning can’t borrowed neither can you borrow someone else’s hard work. Some things, we must learn to do it ourselves. At the end of the day, life rewards those who stay ready and take responsibility. Let’s all learn to stay ready and do the work now, not later. #SpreadTheLove #TeamB #PeaceOfMind #Nakupenda

#IRANISREALWAR# War is expensive,damaging and deadly. There are wars that can be fought if necessary without weapons.

PUNCH Newspaper *The unseen crisis facing Nigerian men (moment Otunba Kunle Akinyele collapsed)* *Message not just for Men alone, but for everyone* 5th May 2025. Ganiyu Olowu *When Otunba Kunle Akinyele, a respected hotelier in Lagos, slumped and died at his wife’s 60th birthday thanksgiving, the nation gasped in disbelief. One moment, he was celebrating life and love; the next, he lay lifeless at the altar of joy*. The video is haunting — *a man gesturing, gasping, reaching for help in a sacred space, surrounded by those he loved but alone in his final battle.* This was not just a death. It was a metaphor of silent suffering, buried exhaustion, and what men have come to normalise in the name of strength. Akinyele’s case is not isolated. It is one of many chilling examples of how Nigerian men, particularly in their mid- to late years, are collapsing under the weight of responsibilities, unspoken pain, and undiagnosed illnesses. According to the World Health Organisation, men in sub-Saharan Africa, including Nigeria, are 2.4 times more likely to die prematurely from preventable causes than women. This alarming disparity is fuelled by cultural and behavioural factors: men are less likely to seek medical help, more likely to suppress emotional turmoil, and often glorify suffering in silence. In Nigeria, cardiovascular diseases, hypertension, and untreated mental health conditions are among the leading causes of sudden deaths in men. So This Happened (215) Reviews Death Of Lagos... In 2019, Pastor Taiwo Odukoya—admired for his strength and spiritual leadership—passed away quietly after years of enduring deep emotional losses and reportedly ongoing health complications. His resilience was legendary, but it masked what many now see as untreated grief, intense stress, and likely silent medical conditions. Then came the sudden death of veteran broadcaster Ayo Oduleye, better known as MC Loyo, who slumped while compering an event in Ibadan. His charm and humour lit up stages, but in the blink of an eye, the microphone fell silent. Just like that. Similarly, the passing of Mr Ibu (John Okafor) in early 2024, after months of battling illness, reminded the country of how many male entertainers struggle financially and physically behind the scenes, putting on a show while their bodies deteriorate. Masculinity, when warped, can become a silent weapon—not just against others, but against oneself. *ENDEAVOUR TO TAKE GOOD REST PLEASE* Globally, the story remains the same. In 2014, beloved comedian Robin Williams died by suicide, a victim of masked depression. And in 2022, cricket legend Shane Warne died suddenly of a heart attack, a casualty of silent coronary disease and an overstretched lifestyle. Yet while statistics shock and headlines haunt, the everyday grind of the average Nigerian man tells an even sadder tale. Take Lagos, Nigeria’s commercial capital—the city that never sleeps, and where many men now barely do. A significant number of working-class men reside on the mainland or in Ogun border towns like Mowe, Ikorodu, Sango Ota, or Ibafo but must commute to the Island for work—a journey that often begins by 4:00 a.m. and ends by 9:00 p.m. on return. This is no exaggeration. Studies from the Lagos Metropolitan Area Transport Authority reveal that Lagosians spend an average of four to six hours daily in traffic—with many men doing these five to six times a week. That is over 1,400 hours a year lost in gridlock—time stolen from rest, from family, from reflection. For these men, the day begins before the rooster crows. They rush into overcrowded buses, endure fumes of frustration, only to return home when their children are already asleep. There is no room for hobbies, hardly any time for checkups, no outlet for pain. Sleep is a luxury. Rest is a myth. And joy is rationed, like fuel in a scarcity season. This modern man is constantly running on empty—physically present but emotionally absent, financially committed but spiritually depleted. And society applauds his hustle, without asking at what cost. The idiom says, “Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” but what if the crown is invisible, made not of gold but of expectations, bills, unspoken grief, and sacrificial silence? Men are praised for providing, for showing up, for being “rocks”. But even rocks erode—silently, slowly, and then all at once. The greatest tragedy is not that they die, but that they are dying unseen. Consider the tragic case of a 42 year old engineer in Port Harcourt who collapsed at his workstation after weeks of working overtime to meet project deadlines. His colleagues described him as “dedicated to a fault”, but his sudden death revealed the dangers of ignoring signs of burnout and hypertension. Another heartbreaking example is the story of a young entrepreneur in Enugu who passed away in his sleep after complaining of chest pains for weeks. Despite his family’s pleas, he refused to visit a doctor, citing his busy schedule and financial obligations. His autopsy later revealed undiagnosed cardiovascular disease—a silent killer that could have been managed with timely intervention. One unforgettable story is that of Samuel Okwaraji, the gifted footballer and patriot who gave everything to his country on the football pitch. In 1989, during a World Cup qualifier against Angola in Lagos, Okwaraji collapsed and tragically died of congestive heart failure at just 25 years old. His life, so full of promises, was cut short under the intense demands of national expectation. The harsh conditions of the game that day, combined with the immense physical and psychological pressures he faced, ultimately proved too much. These stories compel us to ask: What are we doing to ourselves in the name of strength? Why does the world celebrate silent suffering but frown upon seeking help? Dr Salawu Abiola, a psychiatrist at the Federal Neuro Psychiatric Hospital in Yaba, offers critical advice for men navigating these pressures. He emphasises the importance of prioritising rest, adequate sleep, and regular health checkups. “If you work and die today, someone will replace you at the workplace, but no one replaces you in the family,” he warns. Abiola advocates setting realistic goals, managing time effectively, and creating moments of joy and relaxation amid life’s challenges. He also highlights the need for men to engage in positive activities, such as exercise, hobbies, and socialising with supportive people, to release built-up tension and foster mental well-being. Check your vitals before you check your wallet. Monthly profit means nothing if your heart gives out unexpectedly. Your strength is not in how much you carry but in how well you manage your load. Therapy is not weakness. It is a repair. Just like a car needs servicing, your mind and soul need realignment. Build relationships where you are more than a provider—where you are allowed to cry, collapse, confess. A good name is better than riches, but good health is the foundation of both. As Chinua Achebe once said, “When the drumbeat changes, the dance must also change.” The drumbeat of life today is faster, louder, and less forgiving. Men must adjust their rhythm. Health is the new wealth. Silence is no longer golden; it is dangerous. *Ganiyu Olowu, a public affairs analyst, writes from Lagos*. punchng.com ©️ 1971- 2025 Punch Nigeria Limited *MAY WE ALL LIVE LONG IN JESUS NAME* 🙏 CULLED #olufaderomi #grace

The parable of the 10 virgins. Like the parable, humans always tend to cry had I known I would have done it better but this was a concrete example of how it really is. Preparation met with opportunity is the real deal cause it changes ones life. The best time to prepare was yesterday, the second best time is now, so endeavor to prepare to be as the 5 wise that optimized the opportunity they had. #Focus #preparationiskey #happyweekend

*DEAR PARENTS /GUARDIANS* *"Mohbad" means "I am bad".*_. *His real name was "Ileri Oluwa" meaning "The Promises of God". When he started his music career as a Christian singer, he tagged himself *"Imole" meaning *Light".* *He changed his name to "Mohbad" after carelessly taking a cult leader as a role model*. *Once he got caught in the snare laid by the evil squad, he was murdered before he could retrace his steps.* *Who is your role model?* *His parents are now gnashing their teeth, shifting blames.* *As a parent, how are you raising your own wards /children?* *Children , why on earth would you abandon God?* *"Mohbad" was buried at the age of 27.*😭😭😭 *Few weeks ago, a 19 year old boy was reportedly buried in his father's compound after being shot dead by rival cultists.* *Also,a fresh graduate of a university in Lagos, aged 21 was supposed to follow her parents home after the convocation ceremony, but she insisted on staying back for some wild celebrations.* *By 5 am the following day, she was found dead, half buried without her private parts and her breasts.* *A girl of 18 told her parents that she wanted to go and see her classmate, three hours later, her body was dumped in front of her father's house in a pool of blood, by her Yahoo boyfriend.* *As parents,* *1)When last did you see your children/child in school?(including university,polytechnic, etc).* *2)Who are your child's friends?* *3)Why does your child return home late especially at night?* *4)The hair style, dress, necklace, tattoo, etc, that your child has, what does it mean?* *5)When last did you check your child/ children in their room at night?* *6)What is your child doing or who is he or she calling at midnight?* *7)Why are your child's eyes sometimes red?* *8)What caused changes in his/her voice, itinerary & behavior from time to time?* *9)When last did you check the bag he/she is carrying up & down?* *10)When last did you check his/her phone,under the bed,his/her wardrobe?* *11)What caused the wound on his/her body?* *12)Why the very long fingernails?* *13)What causes the strange body odour?* *14)What type of iced drink do they prefer?* *15)Why is he/she not eating mum's food, always saying 'am ok'?* *16)If the family is going out together, why saying, 'go, I will meet you'?* *17)Do you take time to check the movie he/she is viewing on TV?* *18)Who visits when he/she is alone and why?* *19)Why is he talking to you looking down hiding his face?* *20)Why is your child so frightful especially if he/she wasn't like that before now?* *PLEASE CHECK* *Is your child in danger because you are INSENSITIVE*? *When you spoil your child you send him/ her to early grave.* *When you don't discipline, you are preparing for a monumental shocker.* *May the Almighty God not let us know the grave of our children.* *May we not be victims of our child's early or sudden death.* *May we not end our lives in regrets.* *May God in His Infinite mercy continue to deliver us from wicked and unreasonable forces.* #AMEN TO ALL SUPPLICATIONS. #prayers #Discipline #nakupenda

We have a positive vision of the future founded on the belief that the gap between the promise and reality of America can one day be finally closed. We believe that.

ManU, Chelsea, and Tottenham made it into the finals of UEFA's Continental competitions, but the real winner is PSG. The team from the Farmers League made it to the UCL final, beating 4 of England's top 6 teams along the way. They say Pride goes before a fall, so we might soon be calling the EPL a farmers' league at this rate.

Hey devs & future devs! Just landed here, and I’m bringing the world of web development to your feed—one post at a time. Whether you’re just starting out or deep in the code trenches, I’ll be sharing: Quick tips to level up your skills Real-world projects & examples Best practices for clean, efficient code Behind-the-scenes of how the web really works And of course, snippets that slap If you're into building beautiful, fast, and functional websites—or want to learn how— hit the comment/react button and let’s grow together. Let’s make the web a better place, one line of code at a time. #WebDev #CodingTips #HTML #CSS #JavaScript #Frontend #DeveloperLife

Procrastination is really the thief of time.please make hay while the sun shines,peeps✌️

#Nakupenda 💖 The human brain struggles to grasp exponential growth. That’s why we expect massive results after a few weeks of effort — and get disheartened when progress is slow. But here’s the reality: meaningful success is built on small actions repeated consistently over time. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says it best: “The effects of your habits multiply as you repeat them.”

Don't wait to buy real estate, rather buy real Estate and wait. #ATTENDANT #Grateful