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*UNIVERSITY OF ADULTERY* *FINAL YEAR EXAMS* *COURSE: MARRIAGEMATICS* *Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS* *INSTRUCTIONS:* 1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_* 2 *_ALL QUESTIONS MUST BE ATTEMPTED IRRESPECTIVE OF GENDER_* *1.* You are a married man and you have dated somebody's wife for *two* years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow. eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)* *2.* You bought a phone for your friend's wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)* *3. For Men* You're dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 16s *(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones. *(15marks)* *(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future poverty *(5marks)* *(c)* Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members. *(5 Mks)* *4.* You are whatsapping and facebooking other people's wives yet you don't want to see your wife on the social network. Calculate the Percentage Error in your thinking capacity. *(20 marks)* *5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than N1,000,000. Your daughter who is awaiting *WASSCE* result is using iPhone 16s and Samsung Galaxy worth N700,000 . Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. *(20 marks)* *6. *For ladies* You're a married woman and you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use the law of diminishing Return to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. *(20 marks)* *7.* You can't give your wife N10,000 for a pot of soup, but you spend over N50,000 in bars and restaurant. Calculate the radius of your 'stupidity', take π=3.142 *(20 marks)* 8.* You have been in the place of worship for years but your name is not in the book of LIFE because of the secret sin. Calculate the years you will spend in HELL? (30 mark) _*BEST OF LUCK!* Your Time Starts Now. But remember to share to all your friends because the question papers are not many to go round... Laughing but serious issue: Pls don't laugh alone. Hell is Real, Heaven is REAL! #Discipline #Heavenisreal

#waskydone, #spreadthelove, #TeamB The Parable of the Ten Virgins is found in Matthew 25:1–13. Jesus tells this parable to emphasize the importance of being prepared for His return. The lessons from this parable are; 1. Be Prepared at All Times Five wise virgins took extra oil, representing readiness. Five foolish virgins did not, symbolizing neglect. The wise could not share their oil with the foolish. Lesson: Each person is responsible for their own condition. No one can rely on another’s efforts to achieve their goals. 2. Appearance Is Not Enough All ten were virgins, all were invited, and all looked prepared at first. Only the ones with oil were truly ready. 3. There Will Be a Time When It’s Too Late The foolish virgins tried to prepare after the bridegroom arrived, but the door was shut. Lesson: There is a time limit to respond to any call. After which anyother time will be too late. 4. True Readiness Requires Action, Not Just Waiting The wise virgins actively brought extra oil. Lesson: Readiness requires continuous effort. Jesus ended the parable with the command: “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” Lesson: We must live daily with preparation and hard work in view, resisting complacency and slumber.

Even among dishonest people, honesty is sought-after. Just for laughs - even if you dont understand the language, you can still understand whats going on: two policemen want to share their proceeds for the day.

Reality can be beautiful. Let's embrace and share positive energies. #Grateful. ESTHER

Mizpeh 2025 at the Apostolic faith church Rivers Area Check out this video Mind your mind https://www.youtube.com/live/urXAr4t2b_A?feature=shared

📢 *TEACHING OPPORTUNITY IN AN INCLUSIVE SCHOOL* Hello! If you know someone who is passionate about working with children and making a difference, kindly copy and share this message with them. An *Inclusive School in OMOKU, Rivers State* is seeking a *dedicated female to teacher or someone willing to learn and grow in the teaching profession*. This opportunity is perfect for anyone eager to gain *practical teaching experience* and explore how they can earn *₦100,000+ monthly*—even as a beginner. *Benefits Include:* 1. Free in-house training on inclusive teaching strategies and practical classroom skills. 2. Competitive monthly salary. 3. Two nutritious meals daily. 4. Accommodation is provided. 5. Termly performance bonus *(T&C apply)*. ✅ *Requirements:* - Female, 18 years and above. - Minimum qualification: SSCE. - Open-minded, patient, God-fearing, and well-organized. - Good communication skills and a heart for inclusive education. - Must be willing to resume immediately. - 🌱 *At our school, teaching is not just a job—it’s a calling.* We believe every educator shares the responsibility to nurture, guide, and inspire students while receiving support, mentorship, and opportunities to grow. 📞 *Call/WhatsApp:* *08163801209* for more information or to apply. #Grateful

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THE DAY PELUMI DIED "The shouts of "Thief! Thief!" filled the air. The man being chased ran past a young man who was unaware of what was happening. He was just heading home from an errand, with a half bag of rice on his shoulder and a jar of oil in his hands. Without warning, the crowd rushed at him, leaving no room for explanation. The actual thief ran away, but the innocent young man was mistaken for him and attacked. Blows rained down on him, and cutlasses cut him deeper. He opened his mouth to cry out, but another blow landed on his head. He sprawled on the ground, half dead. The bag of rice and the jar of oil burst, mixing with his blood, creating a terrifying scene. The crowd fetched a nearby tire and set him on fire within seconds. Before five minutes had passed, some young guys arrived, dragging the real thief with them, only to find an innocent young man already ablaze. They tried to quench the flames and dragged him out of the fire, but the stench of roasted flesh filled the air. Pelumi died that day. The thief was taken away by the police, while Pelumi's corpse was left at the scene. His mother arrived, looked at her son, and shouted, "Oja, fire of the water serpent, let the blood of my son forever litter your river until you avenge him!" I walked home shakily, realizing I could have been killed too. Pelumi was my friend before death took him. I was actually on my way to meet him, just few steps close to him and death embraced him. That is how lawless our society Nigeria 🇳🇬 has become." Please share to create awareness against jungle justice in Nigeria 🇳🇬 and around the world 🌎 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿.

The Future of Connections There was a time when happiness was simply knowing our neighbors, laughing as we played together and gathering around shared meals. Then came social media, and for a moment, we believed it would bring us closer, reconnect us with the ones we had lost. But somewhere along the way, we drifted apart, lost in a sea of endless comparisons, measuring our worth against others. What if we could find our way back? What if we could create a world where love leads again, where unity is not just a word, but a way of life? Imagine Nakupenda — the social media of the future, where hearts connect, and no one is left behind. #Nakupenda #Knowledge #Makanaki

#waskydone #spreadthelove Good morning and a lovely weekend to us all, in the spirit of the lessons we shared from the parable of 10 virgins, let's put it to action and make Nakupeda to that social media we all dream of. LOVE FOR HUMANITY

Who Truly Benefits from Sex? Man or Woman? The first thought that likely came to your mind was—man. Right? Most people instinctively assume that men derive more pleasure from sex, while women merely endure it. But you might be surprised to learn that reality is quite the opposite. Whether the act lasts five minutes or fifty, a man’s pleasure is condensed into the final five to ten seconds. In contrast, a woman can experience orgasm up to ten times in a single sexual encounter. That means a woman has the potential to enjoy ten times more pleasure than a man. Moreover, the duration of a woman's orgasm is typically twice or even three times longer than that of a man. Of course, not every woman reaches this peak every time. Some may rarely experience it, while others, on average, enjoy it three times per encounter—which is still significantly more than men. Less effort, more reward. This is an undeniable fact. But There’s More to the Story… Orgasm is simply the peak. The journey leading up to it is filled with pleasurable moments, intimate sensations, and deep emotional connections that keep both partners engaged. Both men and women derive enjoyment throughout the experience, but the ultimate climax marks the grand finale. Wise lovers understand that sex is not just about reaching the peak—it’s about savoring every moment of the journey. But If Women Benefit More, Why Are Men Always the Ones Pursuing It? The answer is simple: instinct. God designed sex as a reward system to encourage reproduction. Since women bear the greater burden of pregnancy—carrying a child for nine months—they were naturally endowed with a greater pleasure incentive to ensure they willingly partake in the process. Smart women embrace this natural gift, while the unaware may deprive themselves of it. Let’s be honest—if childbirth pain was the only reward, no woman would ever want to go through it again. But two things keep her coming back: The innate maternal instinct God has placed within her. The unparalleled pleasure and emotional fulfillment that comes with sex. Funny But True… It’s often said that during labor, women curse their husbands, blaming them for the unbearable pain they are experiencing. But can you deny the reality that the same woman, after delivering her child, willingly prepares for another pregnancy within a year? No man forces her into it. There’s no gunpoint coercion. It’s instinct. It’s pleasure. It’s God’s divine system at work. But Then, Why Do Men Chase Women If They Get Less Pleasure? Again, instinct and dominance. God has naturally instilled in men a desire to dominate and lead. A man's greatest pleasure in sex is not just physical—it’s the satisfaction of knowing that he has "conquered" his woman, pleased her, and fulfilled his natural role. Men don’t chase sex just for a few seconds of pleasure. They do it because it reaffirms their strength, their power, their ability to satisfy their woman, and ultimately, their role as a protector and provider. This dominance-driven pleasure fuels their willingness to bear responsibilities, raise children, and provide for their families. If Sex Is About Reproduction, Why Do Humans Continue Even When Pregnancy Isn’t the Goal? Good question. Other creatures mate solely for reproduction. But humans are the only species that enjoy this pleasure beyond just procreation. Why? Because God designed sex not just for reproduction, but also for bonding, stress relief, and maintaining emotional harmony between partners. This is why, even when pregnancy is not the goal, a couple continues to engage in intimacy regularly. Without this constant cycle of pleasure, emotional connection, and intimacy, relationships would suffer. A woman, after experiencing the pain of childbirth, might never want to go through it again. A man, burdened with responsibilities, might lose his motivation to work and provide. But sex keeps the system running. The Divine Balance God, in His wisdom, has allowed couples the freedom to experience intimacy whenever they desire, with no legal or religious restrictions, as long as it happens within marriage. Both man and woman receive their fair share of pleasure: The man experiences intense gratification, emotional release, and dominance satisfaction. The woman enjoys profound, long-lasting pleasure—up to ten times more than the man. Less effort, greater reward. Sex is not just a biological act. It is a divine gift, a system of balance, and an eternal bond between two souls. #nakupenda #Utom58 #De_NextVerYou #Relationship/Sex

I'm deeply grateful for every moment life has given me. The highs and lows, mysteries and certainties, have woven together to make my journey uniquely mine. I'm thankful for the lessons learned, the love shared, and the growth born from both joy and hardship. #AWESOMEGOD #HAPPINESS