• FROM ANOTHER PLATFORM

    By Obi Nwakanma

    And I hear you, bro. But think about it: from 1970- 1979, the generation of the Igbo who had fought and funded the war, were not talking of marginalization. They took on the task of restoration. I remember the story the late Mbazulike Amaechi told me when I once visited him in Ukpor. At the end of the war, the Igbo business elite who had been in PH, and whose property had been forcibly acquired by the new government in Rivers state went to Asika to intervene. Asika sat with them and urged them to seek the intervention of the courts and make this a seminal case on the defense of Igbo property rights in Nigeria. He did not want to seem to put undue pressure in a very sensitive time on the government of Rivers state. The Igbo were being harassed and stopped from work and resuming their life in PH. Asika encouraged them to seek the legal benefits of Awolowo who was the most powerful politician in government at the time. These Igbo businessmen met Awo, in Lagos, and after he heard them, Awo demanded that they go and pay 1 million pounds into his Chambers account, before he would could take on their plea. The Igbo business men asked Awo where he thought they could get one million pounds, having just come out of a devastating war. He said it was their business and dismissed them. The men later met in ZC Obi’s home, and after rounds and rounds of discussions, they agreed at ZC Obi’s urging, that they would no longer pursue the matter. ZC Obi said, “ let us ge back to work. Let us send our young men back to work. We shall build Aba until it gets into Port Harcourt, and no one will know the difference.” And that was precisely what they set out to do, and were about accomplishing that feat up till 1987. By 1979, the Igbo were powerful enough to ge a serious factor in Nigerian politics. Between 1979-83, the Igbo were not talking about marginalization. They were engaged in restoration . Mbakwe had asked Ihechukwu Madubuike as minister for education, to place as priority the establishment of another federal university in Igbo land. Thus FUTO in 1980. Between he and Jim Nwobodo, they launched an industrial policy that quickly turned the East once more into an active economic belt. They did not wait for the federal government. Imo state University and Anambra state university of Technology were the first state universities to be established under the state laws. I was reading the Imo State University Act that established the charter of the old Imo state university the other day, and I am still utterly impressed by the quality and precision of thought that went into organizing that university under the inimitable MJC Echeruo, one of Igbo lands sharpest minds of the 20th century. The same goes for ASUTHEC. Nwobodo went specifically to Harvard to make Prof Kenneth **** to return to Enugu and establish ASUTHEC. Now, compare that Igbo, to this generation of the Akalogoli. Mbakwe took Shagari specifically to Ndiegoro, in Aba, wept publicly with dramatic impact , and forced Shagari to promise to establish the ecological fund to deal with places like Ndiegoro in Igbo land. He compelled Shagari to understand that Gas and Petroleum were abundant natural resources from Imo state, and that Imo deserved and must be given new shares/ consideration , if the federal did not want Imo to sue, and even begin to raise questions about the federal government’s s seizure of Eastern Nigerias oil and gas investments, like the PH refinery for which no compensation has even to this day, been paid. Mbakwe pushed the oil issue and said to Shagari that the proposed Petrochemical Plant must be located in Imo, otherwise he would begin to build the Imo Petrochemical Industries himself . The grounds had been cleared by October 1983, and work started at the Imo Petrochemical Plant at Izombe by the time the military struck on Dec. 31, 1983. It was Buhari who later relocated that plant to Eleme. Mbakwe began the first Independent Power company with the Amaraku power station under Alex Emeziem at the Ministry of Utilities. The father of my high school buddy at the Government College Umuahia was the project manager who designed and installed the power station at Amaraku and had begun work at the Izombe Gas power station; all with engineers and technicians from the Imo state ministries of work and public utilities. They did not go to China to sign a contract. They just went to South Korea to procure the parts they designed and which they installed themselves! By 1981/2 most towns in Imo state had electricity under the Imo state Rural Electrification project. Same with the Five Zonal water project under the Mbakwe program. The project manager was Engineer Ebiringa. They did not go to China or America or wait for the federal government. 85% of the Imo Water project had been completed by the time the soldiers struck. There are still giant iron pipes buried underground in almost all the towns in the old Imo state under that project which was designed to give Imo the first constant, clean water of any state of Nigeria. Only a phase of the Owerri water project was completed by the time Mbakwe was kicked out of office, but even so, Owerri had the cleanest, most regular water of any city in Nigeria. Imo organized her public schools. Imo organized a first class public health system. My own father was commissioned under the Health Management board as the government’s Chief Health Statician, to conduct the first broad epidemiological survey of Imo state in 1982. I saw him at work. They were serious and professional men, who took their duties very seriously because they were highly trained. The Imo state civil service was possibly the finest civil service in West Africa; finer than the federal service, because they had a
    highly selected and well trained pool of civil servants who delivered value to the people. They were not talking about marginalization. You may say what you like today about Jim Nwobodo, but he started the independent satellite newspaper In Enugu, which balanced the story coming out of Lagos. No one was talking about marginalization until Chuba Okadigbo, rightly used that word to decribe the way the federal military government of Nigeria was treating the Igbo, in terms of access to real power. There were not enough Igbo officers represented in the organograms of the military governments, and yes, that word was apt, in that ****** . But we have taken it too far, and turned it into an excuse for our intellectual and political indolence. The Igbo have waited for their comeuppance on Nigeria, but **** ain’t happening. Nigeria is moving on without us, for better or worse. We must now recalibrate and engage. Let us use the final gas in our tanks, all of us now, between 55-75 years, to complete the work of restoration which the last generation began but which we have abandoned because we dropped the ball. We may weep all we want and complain that Nigeria is unfair, but the universe is indifferent. I dare say, Nigeria actually has no capacity to marginalize the Igbo. We better stop marginalizing ourselves or risk our children and their children inheriting the slave’s mentality!! That’s the danger we court with this story of Igbo marginality, which is actually self imposed, and self indulgent!

    I pray we rise again!!!!
    Happy New Month to us all!!!
    #Discipline
    FROM ANOTHER PLATFORM By Obi Nwakanma And I hear you, bro. But think about it: from 1970- 1979, the generation of the Igbo who had fought and funded the war, were not talking of marginalization. They took on the task of restoration. I remember the story the late Mbazulike Amaechi told me when I once visited him in Ukpor. At the end of the war, the Igbo business elite who had been in PH, and whose property had been forcibly acquired by the new government in Rivers state went to Asika to intervene. Asika sat with them and urged them to seek the intervention of the courts and make this a seminal case on the defense of Igbo property rights in Nigeria. He did not want to seem to put undue pressure in a very sensitive time on the government of Rivers state. The Igbo were being harassed and stopped from work and resuming their life in PH. Asika encouraged them to seek the legal benefits of Awolowo who was the most powerful politician in government at the time. These Igbo businessmen met Awo, in Lagos, and after he heard them, Awo demanded that they go and pay 1 million pounds into his Chambers account, before he would could take on their plea. The Igbo business men asked Awo where he thought they could get one million pounds, having just come out of a devastating war. He said it was their business and dismissed them. The men later met in ZC Obi’s home, and after rounds and rounds of discussions, they agreed at ZC Obi’s urging, that they would no longer pursue the matter. ZC Obi said, “ let us ge back to work. Let us send our young men back to work. We shall build Aba until it gets into Port Harcourt, and no one will know the difference.” And that was precisely what they set out to do, and were about accomplishing that feat up till 1987. By 1979, the Igbo were powerful enough to ge a serious factor in Nigerian politics. Between 1979-83, the Igbo were not talking about marginalization. They were engaged in restoration . Mbakwe had asked Ihechukwu Madubuike as minister for education, to place as priority the establishment of another federal university in Igbo land. Thus FUTO in 1980. Between he and Jim Nwobodo, they launched an industrial policy that quickly turned the East once more into an active economic belt. They did not wait for the federal government. Imo state University and Anambra state university of Technology were the first state universities to be established under the state laws. I was reading the Imo State University Act that established the charter of the old Imo state university the other day, and I am still utterly impressed by the quality and precision of thought that went into organizing that university under the inimitable MJC Echeruo, one of Igbo lands sharpest minds of the 20th century. The same goes for ASUTHEC. Nwobodo went specifically to Harvard to make Prof Kenneth Dike to return to Enugu and establish ASUTHEC. Now, compare that Igbo, to this generation of the Akalogoli. Mbakwe took Shagari specifically to Ndiegoro, in Aba, wept publicly with dramatic impact , and forced Shagari to promise to establish the ecological fund to deal with places like Ndiegoro in Igbo land. He compelled Shagari to understand that Gas and Petroleum were abundant natural resources from Imo state, and that Imo deserved and must be given new shares/ consideration , if the federal did not want Imo to sue, and even begin to raise questions about the federal government’s s seizure of Eastern Nigerias oil and gas investments, like the PH refinery for which no compensation has even to this day, been paid. Mbakwe pushed the oil issue and said to Shagari that the proposed Petrochemical Plant must be located in Imo, otherwise he would begin to build the Imo Petrochemical Industries himself . The grounds had been cleared by October 1983, and work started at the Imo Petrochemical Plant at Izombe by the time the military struck on Dec. 31, 1983. It was Buhari who later relocated that plant to Eleme. Mbakwe began the first Independent Power company with the Amaraku power station under Alex Emeziem at the Ministry of Utilities. The father of my high school buddy at the Government College Umuahia was the project manager who designed and installed the power station at Amaraku and had begun work at the Izombe Gas power station; all with engineers and technicians from the Imo state ministries of work and public utilities. They did not go to China to sign a contract. They just went to South Korea to procure the parts they designed and which they installed themselves! By 1981/2 most towns in Imo state had electricity under the Imo state Rural Electrification project. Same with the Five Zonal water project under the Mbakwe program. The project manager was Engineer Ebiringa. They did not go to China or America or wait for the federal government. 85% of the Imo Water project had been completed by the time the soldiers struck. There are still giant iron pipes buried underground in almost all the towns in the old Imo state under that project which was designed to give Imo the first constant, clean water of any state of Nigeria. Only a phase of the Owerri water project was completed by the time Mbakwe was kicked out of office, but even so, Owerri had the cleanest, most regular water of any city in Nigeria. Imo organized her public schools. Imo organized a first class public health system. My own father was commissioned under the Health Management board as the government’s Chief Health Statician, to conduct the first broad epidemiological survey of Imo state in 1982. I saw him at work. They were serious and professional men, who took their duties very seriously because they were highly trained. The Imo state civil service was possibly the finest civil service in West Africa; finer than the federal service, because they had a highly selected and well trained pool of civil servants who delivered value to the people. They were not talking about marginalization. You may say what you like today about Jim Nwobodo, but he started the independent satellite newspaper In Enugu, which balanced the story coming out of Lagos. No one was talking about marginalization until Chuba Okadigbo, rightly used that word to decribe the way the federal military government of Nigeria was treating the Igbo, in terms of access to real power. There were not enough Igbo officers represented in the organograms of the military governments, and yes, that word was apt, in that period . But we have taken it too far, and turned it into an excuse for our intellectual and political indolence. The Igbo have waited for their comeuppance on Nigeria, but shit ain’t happening. Nigeria is moving on without us, for better or worse. We must now recalibrate and engage. Let us use the final gas in our tanks, all of us now, between 55-75 years, to complete the work of restoration which the last generation began but which we have abandoned because we dropped the ball. We may weep all we want and complain that Nigeria is unfair, but the universe is indifferent. I dare say, Nigeria actually has no capacity to marginalize the Igbo. We better stop marginalizing ourselves or risk our children and their children inheriting the slave’s mentality!! That’s the danger we court with this story of Igbo marginality, which is actually self imposed, and self indulgent! I pray we rise again!!!! Happy New Month to us all!!! #Discipline
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  • There are moments in life when everything feels unclear—when you’re questioning your path, your pace, and even your purpose. But what if this confusion isn’t failure, but the sacred space where your next level is forming? What if the fog is not meant to blind you, but to slow you down long enough to realign with who you’re truly becoming? You’re not lost—you’re evolving. The discomfort you feel is the stretch of growth, the silence is the sound of transformation taking root, and the delay is divine timing at work. Don’t panic. Don’t retreat. Stand still in your calm confidence, knowing this season isn’t happening to break you—it’s happening to build you. Keep showing up. Keep believing. You’re not falling apart—you’re falling into place.
    #Happiness
    #AWESOMEGOD
    There are moments in life when everything feels unclear—when you’re questioning your path, your pace, and even your purpose. But what if this confusion isn’t failure, but the sacred space where your next level is forming? What if the fog is not meant to blind you, but to slow you down long enough to realign with who you’re truly becoming? You’re not lost—you’re evolving. The discomfort you feel is the stretch of growth, the silence is the sound of transformation taking root, and the delay is divine timing at work. Don’t panic. Don’t retreat. Stand still in your calm confidence, knowing this season isn’t happening to break you—it’s happening to build you. Keep showing up. Keep believing. You’re not falling apart—you’re falling into place. #Happiness #AWESOMEGOD
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  • In this life, only listen to two people. Those who strongly align with the vision and those who say "it won't work"

    The people in the middle don't really care. If it works fine or If it doesn't work fine.

    The strong believers take the vision as theirs and run with it.
    The unbelievers show you all the reasons why it won't work. Use their unbelieve to correct your flaws.

    Never take the opinion of people in-between. They are not positive enough to drive and not negative enough to cause a concern.
    In this life, only listen to two people. Those who strongly align with the vision and those who say "it won't work" The people in the middle don't really care. If it works fine or If it doesn't work fine. The strong believers take the vision as theirs and run with it. The unbelievers show you all the reasons why it won't work. Use their unbelieve to correct your flaws. Never take the opinion of people in-between. They are not positive enough to drive and not negative enough to cause a concern.
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  • Dear Lord,

    Thank You for waking me up today and for always being with me, even when things feel tough. You said in Psalm 23 that you are my shepherd you promised that You would supply all my needs, and right now, Lord, I really need You.

    I’m struggling, I don’t have everything I need, but I believe You’re my Provider. You said in Your Word that if You take care of the birds and flowers, You’ll definitely take care of me too, and I’m holding on to that.

    Father, please open doors for me. Send help from where I don’t even expect. Give me favor and opportunities, and bless the works of my hands. I know You are faithful, and I trust You even though it’s hard.

    You’re my Shepherd, and You said I shall not want, Lord: provide for me. Give me peace of mind, strength to keep going, and a breakthrough that will lift this burden off my shoulders.

    Thank You because I know You hear me. I trust Your timing, and I believe You’ll come through.

    In Jesus name,
    Amen 🙏🏽
    Dear Lord, Thank You for waking me up today and for always being with me, even when things feel tough. You said in Psalm 23 that you are my shepherd you promised that You would supply all my needs, and right now, Lord, I really need You. I’m struggling, I don’t have everything I need, but I believe You’re my Provider. You said in Your Word that if You take care of the birds and flowers, You’ll definitely take care of me too, and I’m holding on to that. Father, please open doors for me. Send help from where I don’t even expect. Give me favor and opportunities, and bless the works of my hands. I know You are faithful, and I trust You even though it’s hard. You’re my Shepherd, and You said I shall not want, Lord: provide for me. Give me peace of mind, strength to keep going, and a breakthrough that will lift this burden off my shoulders. Thank You because I know You hear me. I trust Your timing, and I believe You’ll come through. In Jesus name, Amen 🙏🏽
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  • #Discipline
    THE SECRET OF A SLAY QUEEN WHO ONLY SLEEPS WITH MAD MEN

    Her name was Maliya—fierce, bold, unapologetically beautiful. On the outside, she was every man’s fantasy and every woman’s envy. Slay queen by title, heartbreaker by reputation. But what nobody knew was that behind her polished nails, heavy makeup, and thousand-dollar shoes was a twisted obsession—one that could ruin her life forever. Maliya didn’t sleep with rich politicians, or musicians, or sugar daddies. No. Her secret desire was far darker. She only felt true lust for men society called “mad.” The street wanderers. The mentally unstable. The forgotten souls. The kind who talked to the air, laughed at nothing, and roamed in tattered rags. She believed madness held a kind of freedom no rich man could ever give her.

    At night, when her friends were clubbing or posting half-naked pictures online, Maliya would sneak out in disguise. She wore an oversized hoodie, no makeup, just a scarf. She’d go behind the abandoned rail tracks where she knew one of them always slept. His name was Dogo. People said he had once been a brilliant university professor before something snapped in his head. Now he danced naked in the streets and barked like a dog. But to Maliya, Dogo was beautiful. She brought him food, bathed him, whispered to him, and made love to him like he was a king. And the terrifying part? He remembered her name. Every single time. “Maliya,” he would say, looking into her soul with eyes that once knew more than the world allowed. “They’ll never understand you, but I do.”

    She thought no one knew. Until one day, her closest friend, Anita, followed her. Anita had always suspected something strange about Maliya’s behavior. So when she saw Maliya sneaking behind the slums, she trailed her—and what she found left her speechless. Maliya on her knees, feeding a mad man with such devotion it almost looked holy. Anita tried to confront her. “Are you sick in the head? What if someone finds out? Your brand, your endorsements, your family—everything will be gone!” Maliya didn’t flinch. “I’m already gone, Anita. I’ve been gone since I was twelve and I watched my stepfather beat my mother to death and everyone called him a pastor. Madness feels safer than sanity to me.”

    Anita backed off. She didn’t understand, but she knew better than to question a pain she couldn’t imagine. But secrets don’t stay buried. A vlogger spotted Maliya a few days later, in her disguise, embracing another mad man near the river. The video went viral within hours. “Famous Slay Queen Seen Kissing Lunatic,” the headlines read. Her followers dropped. Brands cut ties. Her family disowned her. But strangely, she didn’t cry. She laughed. Laughed louder than ever before. Because now—finally—she didn’t have to hide. She took Dogo and two other mad men, moved into a remote area outside the city, and built a shelter for the mentally ill. She named it “The Free Mind.”

    But what she didn’t know was that one of the men she loved—one of the supposed “mad” men—wasn’t mad at all. He was a billionaire’s son hiding from a murderous conspiracy. And everything was about to change.

    To be continued....
    Written by Real Life Stories

    Follow Bleeding pen for more
    #Discipline THE SECRET OF A SLAY QUEEN WHO ONLY SLEEPS WITH MAD MEN Her name was Maliya—fierce, bold, unapologetically beautiful. On the outside, she was every man’s fantasy and every woman’s envy. Slay queen by title, heartbreaker by reputation. But what nobody knew was that behind her polished nails, heavy makeup, and thousand-dollar shoes was a twisted obsession—one that could ruin her life forever. Maliya didn’t sleep with rich politicians, or musicians, or sugar daddies. No. Her secret desire was far darker. She only felt true lust for men society called “mad.” The street wanderers. The mentally unstable. The forgotten souls. The kind who talked to the air, laughed at nothing, and roamed in tattered rags. She believed madness held a kind of freedom no rich man could ever give her. At night, when her friends were clubbing or posting half-naked pictures online, Maliya would sneak out in disguise. She wore an oversized hoodie, no makeup, just a scarf. She’d go behind the abandoned rail tracks where she knew one of them always slept. His name was Dogo. People said he had once been a brilliant university professor before something snapped in his head. Now he danced naked in the streets and barked like a dog. But to Maliya, Dogo was beautiful. She brought him food, bathed him, whispered to him, and made love to him like he was a king. And the terrifying part? He remembered her name. Every single time. “Maliya,” he would say, looking into her soul with eyes that once knew more than the world allowed. “They’ll never understand you, but I do.” She thought no one knew. Until one day, her closest friend, Anita, followed her. Anita had always suspected something strange about Maliya’s behavior. So when she saw Maliya sneaking behind the slums, she trailed her—and what she found left her speechless. Maliya on her knees, feeding a mad man with such devotion it almost looked holy. Anita tried to confront her. “Are you sick in the head? What if someone finds out? Your brand, your endorsements, your family—everything will be gone!” Maliya didn’t flinch. “I’m already gone, Anita. I’ve been gone since I was twelve and I watched my stepfather beat my mother to death and everyone called him a pastor. Madness feels safer than sanity to me.” Anita backed off. She didn’t understand, but she knew better than to question a pain she couldn’t imagine. But secrets don’t stay buried. A vlogger spotted Maliya a few days later, in her disguise, embracing another mad man near the river. The video went viral within hours. “Famous Slay Queen Seen Kissing Lunatic,” the headlines read. Her followers dropped. Brands cut ties. Her family disowned her. But strangely, she didn’t cry. She laughed. Laughed louder than ever before. Because now—finally—she didn’t have to hide. She took Dogo and two other mad men, moved into a remote area outside the city, and built a shelter for the mentally ill. She named it “The Free Mind.” But what she didn’t know was that one of the men she loved—one of the supposed “mad” men—wasn’t mad at all. He was a billionaire’s son hiding from a murderous conspiracy. And everything was about to change. To be continued.... Written by Real Life Stories Follow Bleeding pen for more
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  • 4 months after I was born, my mom went back to University to get her degree. I'm her third child.

    She left me and my siblings with our Dad and paternal grandma and came home only weekends for three years until she finished her degree. She left 3 under-5 and went to pursue her career.

    At 28, she was doing her NYSC and pregnant with her 4th child.
    At 40, she already had her master's degree.

    She has been a civil servant since 1993.

    Now, at 61, she is at the peak of her career. A level 17 officer, Permanent Secretary grade.
    (Edit - Note: in 2023, Delta State increased retirement age from 60 to 65.)

    My aunty who was my mother's secondary mate and got married same year my mother got married, didn't continue with her education like my mom did. She had three children and tried to go back in her 40s when her last child was in secondary school, but she was only able to acquire tc2 (or whatever they call it).

    At the long run.
    My mom raised four successful biological children.
    My aunty raised three successful biological children.

    No, my aunty's children did NOT turn out better just because she gave up career and dreams to raise them.

    If you are measuring success based on wealth and quality and level of education, we are far ahead.

    There are no studies, research or statistics that indicate that children of stay-at-home mothers do better.

    If I could be asked to choose between an illiterate mother who stayed at home throughout my childhood and gave up career just to watch me VERSUS my mother who is a top/senior civil servant at the peak of her career, a boss in the office and boss at home, I would DEFINITELY choose the latter, and I'm glad that the latter is my reality.

    My father told me that he had opportunity to travel to the US or UK when I was just four. He was to travel there for research and enroute into becoming a university lecturer/professor. But he turned down the opportunity because he wanted to be there to watch his children grow every minute.

    Do you know what I told him?
    I told him that he should have gone. Some of my siblings also told him he should have gone. Imagine the children he stayed for telling him that he should have gone.
    My father's colleague who also got same offer went and came back for his family one year later. So, I told my father that leaving his family for a year or two would have been a worthwhile sacrifice to pay for a better future. He should have gone and come back for us a year or two later.

    My father was a very successful man, more educated than my mother and also got to the peak of his career, but not half as successful as he would have been if he had taken some risks, including leaving his children for a year or two.

    Why am I writing all these?

    For those women who abandon their dreams, careers and aspirations because of their children.
    Someday, your children who you abandoned your career for will ask you WHY? They will tell you that you should have pursued your career.

    Like I said, my father sacrificed career progression for us his children.
    My mother did NOT sacrifice career pursuit for anybody.
    While I understand the sacrifice my father made, as a grown adult, I still think my mother made the better choice.

    So, my dear women/mothers, I can tell you that at the long run, your children would be most proud of you if you pursue your career and achieve great career heights.

    I went back to full-time studies January to December 2024. I had my daughter in-between in April 2024. I got an extra degree and with that, I'm applying for jobs and negotiating salaries more than twice my salary in my last job.

    It wasn't easy doing that while nursing a baby, but I did it.

    My children would grow up seeing a strong mommy who didn't abandon her dreams. I want my daughter to know that she should never abandon her dream or chosen career for any reason or anyone.

    I don't want my children to ask me WHY?

    It's not easy combining academic/career and family. But nothing good comes too easily. Just do your best within your power and the opportunity and resources available to you.
    Copied
    4 months after I was born, my mom went back to University to get her degree. I'm her third child. She left me and my siblings with our Dad and paternal grandma and came home only weekends for three years until she finished her degree. She left 3 under-5 and went to pursue her career. At 28, she was doing her NYSC and pregnant with her 4th child. At 40, she already had her master's degree. She has been a civil servant since 1993. Now, at 61, she is at the peak of her career. A level 17 officer, Permanent Secretary grade. (Edit - Note: in 2023, Delta State increased retirement age from 60 to 65.) My aunty who was my mother's secondary mate and got married same year my mother got married, didn't continue with her education like my mom did. She had three children and tried to go back in her 40s when her last child was in secondary school, but she was only able to acquire tc2 (or whatever they call it). At the long run. My mom raised four successful biological children. My aunty raised three successful biological children. No, my aunty's children did NOT turn out better just because she gave up career and dreams to raise them. If you are measuring success based on wealth and quality and level of education, we are far ahead. There are no studies, research or statistics that indicate that children of stay-at-home mothers do better. If I could be asked to choose between an illiterate mother who stayed at home throughout my childhood and gave up career just to watch me VERSUS my mother who is a top/senior civil servant at the peak of her career, a boss in the office and boss at home, I would DEFINITELY choose the latter, and I'm glad that the latter is my reality. My father told me that he had opportunity to travel to the US or UK when I was just four. He was to travel there for research and enroute into becoming a university lecturer/professor. But he turned down the opportunity because he wanted to be there to watch his children grow every minute. Do you know what I told him? I told him that he should have gone. Some of my siblings also told him he should have gone. Imagine the children he stayed for telling him that he should have gone. My father's colleague who also got same offer went and came back for his family one year later. So, I told my father that leaving his family for a year or two would have been a worthwhile sacrifice to pay for a better future. He should have gone and come back for us a year or two later. My father was a very successful man, more educated than my mother and also got to the peak of his career, but not half as successful as he would have been if he had taken some risks, including leaving his children for a year or two. Why am I writing all these? For those women who abandon their dreams, careers and aspirations because of their children. Someday, your children who you abandoned your career for will ask you WHY? They will tell you that you should have pursued your career. Like I said, my father sacrificed career progression for us his children. My mother did NOT sacrifice career pursuit for anybody. While I understand the sacrifice my father made, as a grown adult, I still think my mother made the better choice. So, my dear women/mothers, I can tell you that at the long run, your children would be most proud of you if you pursue your career and achieve great career heights. I went back to full-time studies January to December 2024. I had my daughter in-between in April 2024. I got an extra degree and with that, I'm applying for jobs and negotiating salaries more than twice my salary in my last job. It wasn't easy doing that while nursing a baby, but I did it. My children would grow up seeing a strong mommy who didn't abandon her dreams. I want my daughter to know that she should never abandon her dream or chosen career for any reason or anyone. I don't want my children to ask me WHY? It's not easy combining academic/career and family. But nothing good comes too easily. Just do your best within your power and the opportunity and resources available to you. Copied ✍️
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  • Being alone really makes you realize all you got is yourself.

    #nakupenda
    #Utom58
    #De_NextVerYou
    Being alone really makes you realize all you got is yourself. #nakupenda #Utom58 #De_NextVerYou
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  • The "spotlight effect" is a cognitive bias where people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. In other words, we often overestimate how much others pay attention to our appearance or mistakes. This happens because we're so focused on ourselves, we assume others are too—but most people are too focused on themselves to notice!
    #knowledge

    The "spotlight effect" is a cognitive bias where people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. In other words, we often overestimate how much others pay attention to our appearance or mistakes. This happens because we're so focused on ourselves, we assume others are too—but most people are too focused on themselves to notice! #knowledge
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  • The Character. The Habit. The You.

    At the end of the day, what really follows us isn’t just what we’ve said or achieved—it’s who we’ve become.
    The character we have lived.
    The habit we have formed.
    The you that played the role.

    Our character is the unseen voice that speaks for us even in our absence. It’s not built in the spotlight, it’s forged in the quiet, private choices we make when no one is watching us.

    Our habits?
    Well, as we know it is the small, repetitive steps that shape our direction.
    They either grow us or ground us. Build us or break us.
    We don’t rise to the level of our dreams by just dreaming—we fall to the level of our discipline. The rigorous process that forms that very habit.

    And then there’s you !
    The version of yourself you’re becoming daily.
    Not the curated one for others, but the raw, real one. The one who’s learning, failing, showing up, healing, becoming.

    So don’t just work on what you do; work on who you are.
    Because eventually, the life you live will reflect the character, the habit, and the you, that you’ve built over time.
    #GodsGeneration
    #spreadthelove #grateful #teamB #sarahdalandlady
    The Character. The Habit. The You. At the end of the day, what really follows us isn’t just what we’ve said or achieved—it’s who we’ve become. The character we have lived. The habit we have formed. The you that played the role. Our character is the unseen voice that speaks for us even in our absence. It’s not built in the spotlight, it’s forged in the quiet, private choices we make when no one is watching us. Our habits? Well, as we know it is the small, repetitive steps that shape our direction. They either grow us or ground us. Build us or break us. We don’t rise to the level of our dreams by just dreaming—we fall to the level of our discipline. The rigorous process that forms that very habit. And then there’s you 🙃! The version of yourself you’re becoming daily. Not the curated one for others, but the raw, real one. The one who’s learning, failing, showing up, healing, becoming. So don’t just work on what you do; work on who you are. Because eventually, the life you live will reflect the character, the habit, and the you, that you’ve built over time. #GodsGeneration #spreadthelove #grateful #teamB #sarahdalandlady
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  • Are you really happy? or
    you just don't want people to pretend about caring?

    Let it out in the comment section

    #de_listener
    #banjodx
    #grace
    Are you really happy? or you just don't want people to pretend about caring? Let it out in the comment section 👇 #de_listener #banjodx #grace
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  • Can someone really tell me why Satan is finding it so difficult to apologize to God and let's settle this long beef between them? Why can't they allow bygone to be bygone and let's move ahead toward a better life. Or is it that Satan was created and designed to be destroyed? I can't understand this beef. I don't know why Satan hates God so much that he wants to oppose everything about God. Even when he knows he can't win him. What is the point of starting a fight you can never win? @Team E. #Team E.
    Can someone really tell me why Satan is finding it so difficult to apologize to God and let's settle this long beef between them? Why can't they allow bygone to be bygone and let's move ahead toward a better life. Or is it that Satan was created and designed to be destroyed? I can't understand this beef. I don't know why Satan hates God so much that he wants to oppose everything about God. Even when he knows he can't win him. What is the point of starting a fight you can never win? @Team E. #Team E.
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  • This is heartbreaking. Just shows how quick people are to judge without knowing the full story. May Pelumi’s soul rest in peace. We really need to stop jungle justice, anyone could be the next victim.
    This is heartbreaking. Just shows how quick people are to judge without knowing the full story. May Pelumi’s soul rest in peace. We really need to stop jungle justice, anyone could be the next victim.
    THE DAY PELUMI DIED

    "The shouts of "Thief! Thief!" filled the air. The man being chased ran past a young man who was unaware of what was happening. He was just heading home from an errand, with a half bag of rice on his shoulder and a jar of oil in his hands.

    Without warning, the crowd rushed at him, leaving no room for explanation. The actual thief ran away, but the innocent young man was mistaken for him and attacked. Blows rained down on him, and cutlasses cut him deeper. He opened his mouth to cry out, but another blow landed on his head. He sprawled on the ground, half dead.

    The bag of rice and the jar of oil burst, mixing with his blood, creating a terrifying scene. The crowd fetched a nearby tire and set him on fire within seconds. Before five minutes had passed, some young guys arrived, dragging the real thief with them, only to find an innocent young man already ablaze. They tried to quench the flames and dragged him out of the fire, but the stench of roasted flesh filled the air.

    Pelumi died that day. The thief was taken away by the police, while Pelumi's corpse was left at the scene.

    His mother arrived, looked at her son, and shouted, "Oja, fire of the water serpent, let the blood of my son forever litter your river until you avenge him!"

    I walked home shakily, realizing I could have been killed too. Pelumi was my friend before death took him. I was actually on my way to meet him, just few steps close to him and death embraced him.

    That is how lawless our society Nigeria has become."

    Please share to create awareness against jungle justice in Nigeria and around the world 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿.
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